I want to address the difference between “in spite of” and “because of”. One of the greatest equalizers that spans across all barriers of humanity is that we individually cannot choose when we are born and when we die. I was born a sensitive and socially honest soul into a superficial and insincere social environment.
If I was born in a world where people constantly strive for self-improvement, valued relationships rather than objects, and looked for acceptance over status, I think I would have been just fine. The kind who prefers the former bullied me to think I’m crazy but I don’t think I am. So if I take this perspective, I did succeed in spite of these kinds of environments.
I knew from a young age that I wanted to help people.
Now that I’m 21, everyone seems to ask my age group what they want to do when they graduate and we hold to high regards young and ambitious individuals who say things like “I want to go to Med school” or I want to start a fortune 500.” I would like financial stability and family in my life but ultimately I want to help people, particularly those with mental health issues. Our passion is where the greatest work comes from. In this sense, I have succeeded BECAUSE of Aspergers because the genuine honesty on how I feel drives my very being and the work I love to do.
Aspergers has caused a fair amount social anxiety, a byproduct of an innate sensitivity I was born with. When I walk in a room full of people, I take in every little detail with equal importance. I can’t filter out what I need to in order to concentrate. Food is another issue. What we eat shouldn’t correlate with emotions but if I eat certain textures, I get angry as well as produce physiological symptoms such as overheating. In general pharmaceuticals can dull these insensitivities.
To me social skills were a set of skills that I had to learn in a mechanical fashion rather than something that came naturally. I can feel people’s emotions in a way I cannot explain but this process is completely different from the process it takes for me to interact with people. When someone is speaking to me, I look at their lips rather than into their eyes so I can more easily filter out all the additional incoming stimuli that may deter me from what they are saying. In addition, I analyze the variance and severity in their tone as well as their body language.
There is this saying “If you meet one person with Aspergers, you met one person with Aspergers.” The essence of this quote is the fact that all kinds of personalities have Aspergers. The cool thing about being on the Autistic spectrum is that everybody on it is different in both their strengths and weaknesses. So while my blog holds true for how I am, that does no necessarily mean every individual with high functioning Autism is like me.
By Alix Generous
A graduate of Abilene Christian University, Jennifer had a long career in TV Broadcasting. Upon learning her oldest son Sam had a form of Autism called Asperger’s Syndrome, she left her career and became a full-time mother to both of her sons. Jennifer elicited the participation of her family and together they produced several independent programs including a children’s animated series titled Ameriquest Kids, as well as a documentary and book titled, Coping to Excelling: Solutions for School-age Children Diagnosed with High-Functioning Autism or Aspergers Syndrome. She formed the nonprofit Asperger101 to provide on-going free resources related to ASD at Aspergers101.com and has implemented the Texas Driving with Disability Program and continues to grow the statewide initiative today. She and her husband have recently retired to their property in the Texas Hill Country.
Thanks for describing your food issues and what you do when you enter a room full of people. They are very similar to mine.
709Does mainstream edotaciun work for your child? My son is six and african american in a predominantly white school and I have more anxiety for him than he demonstrates. I do not know if he is bullied but I know he is sometimes treated like he is invisible and that hurts just as much. I am waiting for the day where he has a meltdown about going to school .sometimes I wish there was a classroom camera so I could better judge his progress!!What are the positives? The positive is that he gets to grow and figure some things out on his own. I want my son to be independent and self reliant .what other choices are there I don’t have the salary for special private school! What are the negatives? It’s the not knowing that gets me! I can truly relate to the one parent about school bus trips my son came back from one without a shoe and his jacket and no one knew what happened. I was extremely upset and he will not go on another trip without me, his dad or granny! You tell the teachers and aides and it’s like they do not get it! There is such apathy that it drives me crazy and I have thought homeschooling may be better in the future before the real bullying and hazing starts!How is the academic side, and how is the social side? His academics is what keeps the teachers interested and it’s the social skills that causes ostracism and sadness of my son.Do you have a particular story to illustrate your point? My son will occasionally tell me that he does not have any friends and he can’t speak right and it pierces my heart. I tell him that he can always talk to me and that I will ALWAYS wait for him to get his words out. Then we will work on his group social skills ..He is my JOY!24