Challenged with Social Skills? Preparing Youth for Employment.

by Raeme Bosquez-Greer

In my 20 plus years of experience I have found that every student is different and every employer is different. This question cannot be answered in one broad answer, we are all very different. In this blog entry, I will give an example of what has worked in my position as an Autism Specialist, Job Developer and Advocate.

Billy is 16 years old and has been in a secluded classroom for 12 years. In this self-contained classroom, he is very quiet and does not feel he is like anyone else.  In the cafeteria or during breaks he is made fun of and bullied due to his awkward gait, thick glasses and because he tends to keep his head down. He has very little self-esteem or self – confidence. He does not share this with anyone because he does not want to bring any undue attention to himself. Both of his parents work 40 hours a week and allow their son to come home and play video games in his room every evening. He is also allowed to eat his meals in his room each night.

Now Billy is 18. His parents would like for him to move out, get his own apartment and get a JOB.

Parents must understand that no matter how intelligent your son or daughter is if he or she does not get exposure and experience at an early age the barriers to the real world of work will take longer to overcome.

Now that Billy is 18 they are searching for resources, making phone calls and calling everyone in the Special Education department for assistance in meeting these goals.

The parents never really attended Billy’s ARD meetings together and only listened on the phone due to their work schedules.  Billy was assigned a placement specialist to assist with and solve with what we call barriers to employment. The student is lost, confused and scared. He has been enabled in the contained classroom for many years and was able to isolate in his room and play video games with no chores or expectations.

Placement Specialist must first:

  1. Establish a trusting rapport with student.
  2. Engage with the student and go out in the community to see what volunteer or work sites are near his home.
  3. Obtain transferrable skills that would assist with accountability and self-confidence.  Learn what is socially appropriate and inappropriate.

Note that the time frame to overcome all barriers is different for each of your children.

Your ideal timeline and the reality of how long this process will take depends on the severity of barriers we must overcome to obtain gainful employment.  It is our job as parents to not enable our child and to be involved in this process. To be successful in the real world of work these skills must be taught and reiterated at home before they become barriers. Parents must understand that no matter how intelligent your son or daughter is if he or she does not get exposure and experience at an early age the barriers to the real world of work will take longer to overcome.

by Raeme Bosquez-Greer/Job Adventures

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Glossary:

Transferable Skills:  Skills developed in one situation which can be transferred to another situation. They are sometimes called generic, soft or key skills

Accountability: The fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility.

How Do People Diagnosed With Autism Get Hired?

What kind of agencies are out there to connect me, and my child’s skills, to a potential employer?

My name is Raeme Bosquez-Greer. I have been an Employment Specialist for the most challenging students for over 20 years. Challenging in my vocabulary means that they are harder to place in a competitive employment setting.

All states and cities have agencies similar to the Texas Workforce Commision, a department of rehabilitation and Alamo Area Council of Governments, which I’ll refer to as “The Agencies” for the remainder of this blog. These are the main agencies the parents of a 15+ year old student can go to for their first steps in seeking training, job developing and employment. This umbrella of agencies contracts third party providers to complete services.  These providers, like myself, specialize in a variety of disabilities including Autism and Neurodevelopmental challenges. We are paid commission for the services that we provide.

The Agencies mentioned above will educate you regarding all the services they offer either themselves or through the 3rd party providers. They will give you a list of providers to select from. You call the providers on the list and interview them with questions specific to your son or daughters needs and you select the provider that you want to work with.

The agency will give you example questions but you can also ask your own based on what best fits your child.

Example questions you might want to focus on are:

  1. How long have you worked in the field of vocational rehabilitation?
  2. What is your success rate with students with Autism or related challenges?
  3. What are your credentials?
  4. Describe your most challenging case and did you have a positive outcome?
  5. What are the most common barriers to overcome for my son or daughter to become successfully employed?

For the state agencies, a student can begin the paperwork process as early as 15 years old. A vocational representative is required to be at the high school a minimum of once a week.  I recommend you contact your child’s case manager frequently and ask to make an appointment with their appointed vocational representative.  Start services early so that your child has time to learn the skills that they need and overcome any barriers by the time they graduate.

An example of my own daughter receiving services:

Motivating a Sedentary Person to Live a Healthy Lifestyle

As the Residential Program Director for Southwind Fields, I work with young adults who are moving out and trying to live independently for the first time.

Part of living independently is learning to eat healthy and exercise.  It is a challenge to convince a young adult to exercise and eat healthy when this was never the focus growing up.

motivation, motivating

“Since people on the spectrum tend to be sedentary, it’s no surprise that they are also overweight.”


Dr. Jim Ball chairman of the Autism Society of America.

For our clients we establish a daily routine and use motivation and encouragement for them to follow it until it becomes habit.

  • We wake up
  • Next we eat
  • Then we shower
  • After, we brush out teeth
  • Then we get dressed
  • Walk or go workout for at least thirty minutes
  • Drink 8 glasses of water throughout the day
  • Plan meals ahead of time

We teach them to set timers on their phones to help follow the schedule.  Ideally this should start at home at a young age.

This sounds like a great idea but as with all people sometimes you wake up and give yourself excuses like: my stomach hurts, it’s too cold or it’s too hot or the ultimate excuse, “I’m tired”.

Now we work with adults to join fitness clubs with trainers who understand not only Autism but the lifestyle the individual has chosen as a child, teen, and now as an adult.

Second, we have incorporated joining Special Olympics because many individuals love the competition.

I also encourage individuals by not taking them on an outing or out to buy a game unless I have seen them and worked out with them for a minimum of thirty minutes a couple of times a week.

Many of our individuals, like a lot of kids today, are addicted to their phones and video games and don’t care about improving their physical health.  At that age they don’t really understand the importance.  They do like verbal praise from their parents or circle of friends, so praise and encouragement is very important. Tangible rewards are important so find out what motivates your child.  

Workout buddies are a fantastic way to be held accountable, so find a friend that needs to or wants to work out also.

As with everyone, living a healthy lifestyle is of the utmost importance.  If you’ve ever heard Temple Grandin speak she will tell you that video games should be banned.  I don’t know that I would go to that extreme, but our children’s sedentary lifestyle needs to be limited for their own well-being.

“You have to keep autistic children engaged with the world.You cannot let them tune out”


Temple Grandin

Living with a Roommate to Counteract Isolation and Depression

Learning Independence and Community

Many factors play into a person’s mental health. Communication styles can even be tied into mental health. Having roommates that you must learn to communicate with on a regular basis can be a helpful treatment for depression and isolation. Having roommates can also offer the opportunity for learning valuable social skills that living alone would not. Learning how to live with someone else is an important step in development. Both independence and community involvement go hand in hand for successful living skills, especially for those with ASD.

Roommate, Aspergers, Depression, Adulthood

I began working with a young man I will call Buddy to work on social skills and making connections with others. Buddy recently moved out into the community for the first time and was provided a roommate with a similar profile.

Buddy has lived most of his life in a rural area and was able to remain in his room for long periods of time playing video games. He often had thoughts that would provoke a tense look on his face and he would start punching in the air. Buddy is an extremely kind and gentle young man, however this characteristic causes others to get concerned.

The first step that took place was a dinner with the new roommate so that they could get acquainted with each other.

During this time the two were asked to turn off their phones and openly talk to each other. Buddy is very quiet and his new roommate is very social and does not do well with confrontation. The two were asked open ended questions. Buddy would answer the questions, but his answers were short. His roommate had long animated answers. Despite these communication differences they seemed to get along well. After dinner they were asked to exchange phone numbers since they were going to live together and would be relying on each other.

Buddy will not mention that he gets depressed or anxious but his body language will show it.

Mentorship and Role Models are Crucial for Those with ASD

With my decades of direct support with individuals who have Autism I have noticed a few commonalities with social skills modeling and maintaining positive healthy friendships. Mentorship and role models are incredibly important for adults with ASD. There are many ways that you can make sure that this invaluable resource is available to your adult children, and it is never too early to start.

As we all know society is ever-changing. What we, as educators and parents have feared for our adult children years ago is pretty much the same now but with even more dangers. We live in constant fear of bullying online and making positive friendships both at work and volunteering in the community. Even the city bus is a fear of uneasiness. “What if’s” are in our minds constantly.

The goals I have tried to teach families are to have a buddy system and to gradually fade out.

I work and have always worked with Youths in Transition. As a support team we search out an appropriate buddy for each individual long term and then begin to fade out. Most times we have to pay individuals to be a friend or advocate for our children. It’s just a fact of life. Your adult child is like anyone else. For a friendship to develop we need consistency, time, and a sense of safety.