Aspergers101 to Retire

A Farewell from Founder Jennifer Allen

The office of Aspergers101 (l to r) Jennifer Allen and son Samuel consult
Photo: Kin Man Hui /San Antonio Express-News

It is with a grateful yet pricked heart that I announce my retirement of Aspergers101 effective, today December 31st, 2019. The timing is right as we leave accomplishing more than our small family-run organization is able to propel any further. We will be handing off a large portion of Aspergers101 to our Texas Governor’s Committee on People with Disabilities who will graciously keep our “Driving with Autism” Texas initiative thriving and permanently available on their website to Texans and all states nationwide, beginning in January 2020.

When we started the work of Aspergers101, many years before it became a registered 501c3 non-profit organization in 2014, our son Samuel was in elementary school and struggling as there were little to no resources to learn about Asperger Syndrome. I felt as though me and my family had been crashed and deserted on a small island with little resources on survival. Navigating Autism wasn’t just new to us, the medical community had only begun to turn their attention toward this often overlooked, misdiagnosed condition. I quit my full time job and immersed myself in understanding Autism Spectrum Disorders. I immersed myself in my family. From that difficult time grew a love toward those struggling as we did. The heartbeat of Aspergers101 has always been to the rhythm of my desire to make available the information I never had with Sam. It is you who inspired Aspergers101.

We’ve included several downloadables of information we’ve published on Asperger Syndrome over the years and hope you take advantage by keeping them for yourself and/or sharing with someone in need!

Jennifer Allen/Founder Aspergers101

Fast forward to today at the eve of 2020 and there are many autism resources available for you than ever before. Movies, TV shows, websites, clinics, employers, law enforcement and schools now have a better understanding (and accommodation) of those on and around the autism spectrum. We’ve got a long way yet to go… but have come quite a distance in the past decade. Our son Samuel is now 24 years old, college graduate, driving and thriving with full time employment in IT at H-E-B! As our family takes another fork in the road toward Sam’s independence, it is time that we must part our journey together. It lasted longer and went much higher and further than I could have ever imagined, but I pass the baton off to the next trailblazer whose time, endurance, funds, resources and age enables them to serve. There are so many excellent organizations geared toward autism and asperger syndrome and that is why I am certain of the time to step aside and wish you the very best on your continued journey!

What’s Next?

“A look forward” at the end of this blog, will offer an explanation for how Aspergers101 will live on. However, before we look forward, I invite you to read on and take a look back at all we’ve been through together over the past decade! It’s been quite a journey we’ve taken together. We’ve included several downloadables of our information we’ve published on Asperger Syndrome over the years and hope you take advantage by keeping for yourself and/or sharing with someone in need! Below offers you a bullet-point glimpse at the highlights of Aspergers101 and the outreach that exceeded our vision. This includes conferences & meet-ups with so many of you, televised broadcasts, our endearing friendship & partnership with Dr. Temple Grandin, the making and airing of our family documentary “Coping to Excelling”, the 2 Texas Legislative successes and oh so much more!

A Look Back


Our Documentary “Coping to Excelling: Solutions for School-Age Children Diagnosed with Autism or Asperger Syndrome”

Coping to Excelling is a one-hour documentary shedding light on the topic of Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome in school-aged children. Written and narrated by Jennifer Allen, the Mother of a son with Asperger’s, this engaging program allows the viewer to see through the eyes of those on the high end of the autism spectrum while getting advice from experts. Features include: 3-D animation, original music from Herb Allen and Rudy Gatlin, interviews with Dr. Temple grandin and Dr. Tony Attwood and classroom reenactments. A lesser known fact: the music to the documentary did not come easy for me. My husband Herb made it easy when he pulled out his guitar and had written an instrumental song he so passionately titled: Sam’s Song. He wrote it with minor and major chords untypically played together to display the unusual beauty found in his son with autism. It was that moving piece of music that country artist Rudy Gatlin (Gatlin Brothers Band) and Randy Willis took and created the soundtrack to Coping to Excelling.

You can hear Herb’s simple rendition of “Sam’s Song” here.

Herb Allen and his Guitar
“Sam’s Song” . Written and performed by Herb Allen. A song he wrote to musically describe the overwhelming love for his son upon learning of his Autism dignosis.

San Antonio Express News: Documentary Helps in Coping with Autism and Asperger Syndrome by Richard Marini

If you would like to purchase a copy of Coping to Excelling: you have only a couple of days to order here.

The Aspergers101 Website

We humbly began over 6 years ago with appx 120 page views monthly. Today, Aspergers101 (according to Google Analytics) assisted over over 40,000 people monthly!

WOAI News 4: Mom Launches New Website March 25th 2014
Aspergers101 Web developer Yusuf Chowdhury creates with Founder Jennifer Allen
An early look at Aspergers101 Homepage at launch. Our site improved it’s reach and navigation over the years!
Staff and Volunteers format the mission and values of Aspergers101 during the Planning Session

The Story Behind the Logo

The story behind our logo: “I painted this abstract picture to show neurotypicals what it feels like to have Aspergers Syndrome. At the time, I was enrolled in Art Appreciation I at Northeast Lakeview College. One day after class, I was at home and suddenly felt like painting, so I got some brushes, a canvas, and some acrylic paint and began to paint while envisioning the picture and its message in my mind. The black and white background represents how aspies tend to see the world in a black-and-white perspective and that we tend to act monotonous. The colors inside the head represent how our minds are bursting with extraordinary ideas. The white lines above the head represent how when we try to say what’s on our minds, it tends to get distorted by our social awkwardness.” by: Samuel Allen

“Driving with Autism” Texas State Initiative

Texas Governor Greg Abbott endorses Aspergers101 “Driving with Autism” Texas Initiative

Jennifer Allen/Founder & CEO of Aspergers101 and Texas Driving with Autism initiative, speaks at recent SAPD Press Conference.

The Strength of the Trailblazing “Driving with Autism” Texas initiative is 3-Fold:

1) Communication Impediment on Driver License & State ID – Communication Impediment with a Peace Officer is a restriction code now offered on Texas State ID and Driver License for those wanting to alert law enforcement of a challenge with communication. This option is marketed to Texas citizen via PSAs airing statewide as well as tri-fold brochures and posters (Spanish/English) in all Texas DPS Driver License Offices. 

Texas Transportation Code §521.125 allows the Texas Department of Public Safety to include a notice on the driver license or identification card  of those who indicate they have a health condition that may impede their ability to communicate with a peace officer.

The health condition must be supported by a written statement (Download Physician’s Statement form DL-101) from a licensed physician and presented at the driver license office before the communication impediment notice may be included on the back of the driver license or identification card.

You may go to the Texas DPS website for forms here:  TX DPS- Driver License – Communication Impediment with a Peace Officer  

Autism PSA – Samuel Allen (Aspergers101)
Deaf PSA – Emma Faye Rudkin (Aid the Silent)

2) Law Enforcement Training in TCOLE – In an effort to train all Texas Law Enforcement agencies on understanding persons with a Communication Impediment, Jennifer Allen and Aspergers101 has teamed up with the Texas Governors Committee on People with Disabilities in writing and producing video and training modules now published and available to all law enforcement agencies through the Texas Commission on Law Enforcement (TCOLE).

3) Communication Impediment in TLETS – The option for disclosure of a communication impediment when registering a vehicle through the Texas DMV. If selected, Communication Impediment will be privately placed in the Texas Law Enforcement Telecommunication System (TLETS) thus alerting the officer of the challenge PRIOR to approaching the vehicle in a pull-over scenario.   Form VTR-216 must be completed by a licensed physician if the applicant has a physical health condition or a licensed physician, licensed psychologist, or a non-physician mental health professional if the applicant has a mental health condition. Form VTR-216 is available online at www.TxDMV.gov or you may click and download Form VTR-216 here.


Asperger Awareness Brochure Series – Distributed locally, statewide & worldwide

Informative tri-fold brochures have made their way into schools, homes, work, churches and even Texas state law enforcement offices. The goal to provide information proved valuable when placed directly into the hands of those needing it most. Much of our funding went toward this end as we felt knowledge was just the beginning and a great way to start your journey. Below were just some of those brochures you helped provide to others!


“From Diagnosis to Independence” Livestream Series with SA Public Library

This free Workshop Series focused on first understanding then excelling with Autism or Asperger Syndrome throughout the Summer of 2017. Partnering with the San Antonio Public Library, each workshop was live streamed live by San Antonio’s WOAI News 4 and made available (at no charge) thereafter on Aspergers101 website. Hosted by Jennifer Allen, Founder of Aspergers101, a well known team of autism experts were assembled (and those living successfully on the spectrum) provided viewers 4 live stream sessions covering the topics of:

1) Diagnosis, 2) Education, 3) Social Development  4) Independent Living.

The uniqueness is offering this series for free with a live Q & A after each session in which patrons have asked our expert panel questions (recorded) pertaining to Autism/Aspergers.


Law Enforcement Training

Standard Law Enforcement Training on mental disorders is typically taught during the required 5 hours of training per year. Standard training for mental disorders does not differentiate the more aggressive disorders such as Bipolar Disorder, psychotic, and Intermittent Explosive Disorder from the non-aggressive such as Autism. That is why we needed a more efficient and accurate training on A.S.D. because persons with Autism and Asperger Syndrome are increasing in numbers and must feel free to go on to drive and lead independent lives.

There is a greatly feared scenario among families who have a child diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD)or Asperger’s syndrome. It goes like this: A young man diagnosed with high-functioning autism is pulled over for speeding. As the trooper approaches the vehicle the young man’s anxieties kick in. Since his disability is not apparent, the officer notices the man fidgeting and deduces shiftiness or guilt, then proceeds to suspect something is wrong. When he questions the young man’s behavior by asking if something is wrong, the autistic mind takes the statement literally and the young man begins to tell the officer, “Yes, something is wrong. You pulled me over and I’m supposed to be at work in 10 minutes!” The officer mistakes this truth as flippant behavior and proceeds accordingly. The situation escalates as the misinterpretation is misconstrued for defiance. As the number of citizens diagnosed with high-functioning autism or Asperger’s syndrome continues to increase, Aspergers101 offered training for law enforcement including considerations for police when encountering a person with autism during a traffic stop. Together, we worked alongside the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles, Texas Department of Public Safety and the Texas Governor’s Committee on People with Disabilities and changed the laws in the State of Texas to reflect this need.


Workshops & Conferences

Training to better understanding of Autism and Asperger Syndrome took us all over the state and beyond. Sam offered a first hand glimpse into Autism without abandon! Charlie took part to help with siblings trials and tribulations and triumphs. Herb offered his insight into fathering a son with autism. This training included: Schools, Region Centers, Colleges, In-House Professional Development, Texas State Autism Conferences/Region Education Workshops, Law Enforcement Agencies, Medical Student Workshops, Churches, Employer training and much more.

Many children carrying the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder or Asperger Syndrome, exhibit challenges in the areas of sensory, academic and social skills at school. These challenges are worrisome if not debilitating for the student, the parent and the educator who look for supports to overcome these hurdles. I shared our family’s personal journey from kinder through college, while providing applicable classroom techniques collected from experts in the field of autism. This training provided an essential foundation of understanding the autistic mind and how that factors into a school setting. Bottom line….how to recognize and successfully navigate ASD in the classroom. This training was most important to me personally as this was so important to catch autism early on.


“Celebrating the Uniqueness of Autism” Texas Televised PSA Series  

Dr. Temple Grandin – Celebrating the Uniqueness of Autism PSA Series
Grant Manier – Celebrating the Uniqueness of Autism PSA Series

Samuel Allen – Celebrating the Uniqueness of Autism PSA Series

Legislation(s) Passed: HB#1434 (Driving with Autism materials in DPS Offices) & The Samuel Allen Law SB#976 (Communication Impediment DMV designation option in TLETS)

HB 1434
Aspergers101 “Driving with Autism” Committee Pictured (l to r) Dr Jane Lynch, Amanda Haas, Dr. Louise O’Donnell, Julie McCoy, Grant Manier, Jennifer Allen, Samuel Allen, Dr. Temple Grandin, Ron Lucey, Nancy Van Loan , Gabriela Lemos, Chuck Palcer

Communication Impediment with a Peace Officer is a restriction code now offered on Texas State ID and Driver License for those wanting to alert law enforcement of a challenge with communication. This option was marketed to Texas citizen via Public Service Announcement airing statewide as well as in tri-fold brochures and posters (Spanish/English) in all Texas DPS Driver License Offices. It was placing the materials in the DPS Offices that took legislative action. HB 1434 was carried by Ron Simmons Office and passed during the Texas 85th Legislative Session. Here is a behind the scenes video we shared on social media sites that made light of the time spent at the capitol!

Passage of Texas House Bill 1434 – “I’m Just a Bill”
The poster now framed and placed in all Texas DPS Offices
SB 976: The Samuel Allen Law

This was an important part of the Driving with Autism initiative and took over 4 years to pass. Sam and I first met with the TExas Executive Director of DMV, Whitney Brewster, to suggest the low cost option of protecting drivers with autism from miscommunication from law enforcement. This would be done with a code that no one could see except the officer pulling the person over. We worked with Texas Senator Bryan Hughes to submit SB 976 to pass during the 86th Texas Legislative Session. Here’s how it works. The option for disclosure of a communication impediment when registering a vehicle through the Texas DMV. If selected, Communication Impediment will be privately placed in the Texas Law Enforcement Telecommunication System (TLETS) thus alerting the officer of the challenge PRIOR to approaching the vehicle in a pull-over scenario.   Form VTR-216 must be completed by a licensed physician if the applicant has a physical health condition or a licensed physician, licensed psychologist, or a non-physician mental health professional if the applicant has a mental health condition. Form VTR-216 is available online at www.TxDMV.gov or you may click and download Form VTR-216 here. The law passed and became effective in Texas September 1st 2019.

As a Texas Driver diagnosed with Autism, Samuel Allen delivers a powerful Testimony on behalf of SB 976 before the Texas Senate Transportation Committee during the 86th Texas Legislative Session

San Antonio Event at the Pearl – Unlocking the Potential w/Dr. Temple Grandin, Tina James/HEB, Ron Lucey/GCPD, Dr. Gail Saltz/Power of Different (Sold Out)

Samuel and his mentor, Dr. Temple Grandin discuss Driving with Autism

Media Support and Outreach

Always grateful for the means of outreach. Social media played a huge role as did TV, radio and print. An ongoing partner quick to respond where autism was/is concerned has been John Seabers, Senior Vice President / Corporate Group Manager at Sinclair Broadcast Group. His devotion to community has been apparent all these years through a partnership that gained thousands access to information we provided. Below is a brief journey afforded us through the eyes of the media.

The Rivard Report: by Roseanna Garza/San Antonio Family’s Autism Education Efforts Lead to New State Law

There were so many more milestones but as I write this blog, my WordPress is informing me I am maxed out on video space! Bottom line: What a journey!

As you know, Aspergers101 mirrored my family’s trek with Autism except we happened to make that journey with you and thousands of families all over the world experiencing ASD. Together we learned by adhering to the Aspergers101 mission & motto:

“To empower and educate individuals with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger Syndrome, their advocates and the community so that we can provide optimum support and expanding opportunities for lifelong growth and fulfillment.”  

Acknowledgements

Make no mistake, Aspergers101 is a non-profit and has only been sustained by those who so generously gave. It takes money to operate a non-profit. Just minimal existence is costly. Fundraising has been my least favorite task as the Founder and Executive Director, but a necessary one. My graitute runs deep for the individuals who made sure it kept going! First to my husband Herb, who took on the financial strain to support all 4 of us while I stayed home seeking answers during those early years. He, Sam and Charlie are the foundation and inspiration of Aspergers101. They all made notable sacrifices and gave of their time to share and encourage at more events than I can count. They did this out of love and compassion for those they never met and did so without financial compensation. They have allowed me to disappear into my home ‘office’ for days at a time, writing curriculum, laws and articles without complaint. We gave, but oh how our family has been blessed! Gratitude goes to many of you who graciously gave at our events, online fundraisers or volunteered at events/workshops. Thank you as you kept us going! Know that we received the bulk of our ongoing funding from only a couple of people. These individuals (either would not wish to be acknowledged!) made sure Aspergers101’s had enough revenue to keep the information flowing. Both are strong women. Both are Moms who knew a free, online resource was necessary and they knew this from their own experience. There are no words for this kind of support except that these dear women genuinely live their busy and productive lives wanting to make a difference for others. Ron Lucey is the Executive Director of the Texas Governors Committee on People with Disabilities and was there to support and advance any initiative that would better the lives of those with Autism. He and his staff of 3 were an army of ‘doers’ that brought so much to you, without fanfare. Then there were those behind the scenes, that Aspergers101 contracted for their expertise, who brought you credible information on a daily basis for years! The foundation of Aspergers101 is in the content. It was important to offer you credible, useful information daily and our volunteer bloggers gave freely of their expertise (medical, education, parental and autism-related fields) and time. To Yusuf Chowdhury (Online Business Owners), Amanda Haas (UpWrite), Gerald Newton (Tri-Merge) and our senior editor since Aspergers101 inception, Gabriela Lemos, there was never a better team with greater heart than you! To our past and present Board of Directors, LaDonna Mack, Sandra Murphy and David Clapp…you led by your heart(s) and gave of your time.

Looking Ahead

This is the last entry on Aspergers101. Please download anything you would like to utilize or share as the website will remain online for just a few more days for you to do so! As mentioned earlier, the entire “Driving with Autism” initiative will live on through the graciousness of Ron Lucey and his team at the Texas Governor’s Committee on People with Disabilities. We are working together to make this a seamless transition and though there is a tease on their website now…know that by the end of January 2020 you will be able to access full information on their site! I feel confident this will give our “Driving with Autism” initiative the platform for sustainability and growth that will serve ours and generations to follow. It is a huge breakthrough that will be built upon bettering communications between law enforcement and those with autism, deafness and so many more diagnosis. Here is the web address:

Sustainability is a word that has popped up in our vocabulary over the past decade so I will use it in describing how Aspergers101 content lives on. All remaining funds will go toward purchasing and delivering our informative tri-fold brochures to educational agencies and autism organizations for distribution. Our autism training continues at UT Health San Antonio for doctors in training. Sam and I recorded a one-hour training that will live on offering doctors a glimpse of families living with autism. Our training is now published and will forever be available in the Texas Commission on Law Enforcement (TCOLE) offerings to all law enforcement agencies on better understanding those with autism, deafness in a pull-over traffic stop. In addition, grocery giant, H-E-B, will be absorbing the Aspergers101 employer training materials and I cannot think of a better organization to utilize our materials for ongoing use in their incredible “Bridges” program.

Most of all, Aspergers101 will be sustained through you. Hopefully some of the material has aided you in your journey and it does feel good that together, through education and knowledge, we’ve raised (and are raising) our children on the spectrum .

I am forever grateful to you and where we have journeyed together. My prayer for you, as we part ways and you continue your path of raising a child with autism or asperger syndrome: To remember that education is key, learn everything you can about your child’s diagnosis and address each issue as it arises. Day by day. Never compare yourself to others or what ‘might have been’. Look at the miracles surrounding you, they are there. Abandon those who are making you or your child’s life difficult. Seek and grow the abilities within your child, they have many. Choose your child, never society’s expectations. Breathe. You can do this! I leave you with my personal motto and one I attribute to all things accomplished…To God be the Glory!

Blessings, Jennifer Allen/Retired Founder & CEO Aspergers101

Aspergers is Not the Same as ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)!

People with Asperger’s usually collect labels like ADHD, anxiety disorders, or bipolar disorder before they’re diagnosed with AS. The label that annoys me is Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Is there a difference between people whose Asperger’s-related behavior is misunderstood and ODD? I find that ODD is sometimes simply a description of behavior without a cause.

Insurers ask for diagnoses based on ICD 10, the “handbook” of diagnoses. One of the official ICD 10 descriptions of AS is that it’s a “neuropsychiatric disorder whose major manifestations is an inability to interact socially; other features include poor verbal and motor skills, single mindedness, and social withdrawal.”

ICD 10 describes ODD as a behavior disorder and a psychopathological disorder. It’s described as a “recurrent pattern of negativistic, defiant, disobedient, and hostile behavior toward authority figures.”  The criteria include “frequent occurrence of at least four of the following behaviors: losing temper, arguing with adults, actively defying or refusing to comply with requests or rules of adults, deliberately annoying others, blaming others for own mistakes, and being easily annoyed, angry or resentful.”

ICD 10 is right in my experience in describing those with Asperger’s Syndrome as “single minded.” This is a real strength when doing tasks, following rules and being honest. However, single mindedness can also include inflexibility or even severe rigidity in sticking to a point of view.

When an inflexible demand is made of an inflexible person, you have rigidity meeting rigidity. That’s not going to work. For people with AS, what’s being perceived as oppositional, hostile or rule breaking is actually more about having a fixed way of viewing the world.

Especially when rules or demands seem illogical or unfair, those with AS can dig in and stand their ground. Many with AS and NLD also have concrete or literal thinking, which adds to the mix of misunderstanding and “rule breaking.”

What If It Snowed In San Antonio?

A Care-giver Series: by Dr. Ghia Edwards

This is the third installment of my piece speaking about the health of a caregiver and it has been an interesting journey these past weeks. We as caregivers get in such and stay in such serious modes, that sometimes it takes something drastic to pop us out of our self imposed prisons of heaviness and sometimes fear. It was almost two years ago to the date that in San Antonio and much of Texas it full on snowed! Now for some of us who were raised around snow, (my parents were bi coastal people), this could have seemed mundane but it was not anything of the sort. I was so happy and joyful that it was snowing, I surprised myself and as I looked around me, everyone and I mean everyone was smiling and laughing and making snowballs and snowmen. Then it hit me, it hit me why I had to wait till this very moment to write this very thing. Life and it’s tragedies are real but in those moments of lifting and or explaining, or seeing people’s faces in reaction to perhaps a behavior your person was exhibiting, in those moments the divine breaks in. Now maybe it’s not snow in the south or something as drastic as that but I believe wholeheartedly that we are given sweet miracle moments that release us from the prison and remind us that we are free to live and enjoy and to find joy in the big and little things in life. I can tell you, I love each and every one of you who are struggling to be, when you don’t even know if you can put one foot in front of the other. I send you thoughts and knowledge that you can find the divine and joy in your task of caregiving, you just have to seek them, to go after them because joy can seem fleeting like the melting snow but the take away is this. When we can choose to see the beauty in a smile, or in a victorious moment where we somehow connect to and with our people, then that is where we see the miracles happen of this season and all year round . We may feel exhausted and cranky sometimes as caregivers but let us remember the beauty we are giving we get back in unexpected ways. Seek those moments and I know you will not be disappointed.

Joy and Peace,

Dr. Ghia

dr.ghia7@gmail.com

 

The Destroying Sociopath

The Monster that Seeks to Manipulate, Fracture and Demolish

It is not Aspergers nor Autism, but it’s a comorbidity that, if undiagnosed may devour, destroy and create a lifetime of chaos in the families they ‘belong’ to. A sociopath is a term used to describe someone who has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). People with ASPD can’t understand others’ feelings. They’ll often break rules or make impulsive decisions without feeling guilty for the harm they cause. People with ASPD may also use “mind games” to control friends, family members, co-workers, and even strangers. They may also be perceived as charismatic or charming. Know this is NOT autism, it is a comorbidity commonly known as ASPD or Antisocial Personality Disorder.

The above is a clinical definition, but to those abused in the wake of their path, it reads a lifetime of pain. It is a destroyer. It’s what you pray for protection from…and it just might be a family member.

Some people respond to the emotionless stare of a skilled manipulator with discomfort, while others feel hypnotized by them.

The parent must see the signs to recognize and acknowledge their child (or self) has such symptoms. If not for the child, than for the lifetime of grief and destruction (sometimes death) the sociopath will inflict upon all family members and those in their path. Getting early treatment is vital in dealing with all aggressive mental disorders including bi-polar, schizophrenia, mania, oppositional defiant disorder and more. With appropriate diagnosis and treatment, people may find relief from their symptoms and discover ways to cope effectively.

They are compulsive liars and even if they do apologize, it’s never genuine

Sociopaths are people who have little to no conscience. They will lie, cheat, steal and manipulate others for their own benefit. They know exactly what they are doing, they just don’t care because they don’t think that way. If you are naive enough, they will brainwash you into doing exactly what they say and what they want which is the only time a sociopath is truly happy.
Sociopaths can hide this well if you haven’t known them for long. They’re really nice and charming at first, almost too nice, but it’s extremely fake. The niceness will last until a problem occurs in which they are at fault however, you will be manipulated to believe that you are in the wrong. There is no reasoning with this person. Things have to be their way or it’s the highway. They will blame you for hurting them (even if they’re the ones who hurt you) or blame the world for all their problems. They are compulsive liars and even if they do apologize, it’s never genuine. Most are anti social and have few to no friends because most people around them don’t want to associate with them. However the sociopath will again tell you that “people hate me for no reason/the world is against me”. It is said that the only person who will put up with a sociopath is someone who is off their rocker or someone who has absolutely no self respect or quite possibly, it is a relative and not so easy to disassociate.

Sociopathy is more likely the product of childhood trauma and physical or emotional abuse. Because sociopathy appears to be learned rather than innate, sociopaths are capable of empathy in certain circumstances, and with certain individuals, but not others.

The fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), released by the American Psychiatric Association in 2013, lists both sociopathy and psychopathy under the heading of
Antisocial Personality Disorders (ASPD). These disorders share many common behavioral traits, which leads to some of the confusion.

Samaki Bilakichwa Studies of depression and personality disorders.

Key traits that sociopaths and psychopaths share include:

  • A disregard for laws and social mores
  • A disregard for the rights of others
  • A failure to feel remorse or guilt
  • A tendency to display violent or aggressive behavior

Sociopaths tend to be nervous and easily agitated. They are volatile and prone to emotional outbursts, including fits of rage. They are more likely than are psychopaths to be uneducated and live on the fringes of society. They are sometimes unable to hold down a steady job or to stay in one place for very long. It is often difficult, but not entirely impossible, for sociopaths to form attachments with others.

Many sociopaths are able to form an attachment to a particular individual or group, although they have no regard for society or its rules in general. Therefore, the meaningful attachments of any sociopath will be few in number and limited in scope. As a rule, they will struggle with relationships.   

One surprising aspect is to see how they enjoy other people’s pain and hardship.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, Training Director of the High Conflict Institute in San Diego

Profile of the Sociopath

Common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.

  • Glibness and Superficial Charm

  • Manipulative and Conning
    They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

  • Grandiose Sense of Self
    Feels entitled to certain things as “their right.”

  • Pathological Lying
    Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

  • Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
    A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

  • Shallow Emotions
    When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

  • Incapacity for Love

  • Need for Stimulation
    Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

  • Callousness/Lack of Empathy
    Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others’ feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

  • Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
    Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

  • Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
    Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet “gets by” by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

  • Irresponsibility/Unreliability
    Not concerned about wrecking others’ lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

  • Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
    Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

  • Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
    Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

  • Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
    Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

Resources for Depression and ASD: Now that we know, what do we do?

Depression is more frequent in those with AS than the general population, and the struggles of those with AS often contribute to the development of depression. The obvious question is, what resources are available and what do we do? First, we should not accept depression as just a normal part of AS, especially if it’s interfering with everyday life. Secondly, we need to recognize the symptoms to help as early as possible. And lastly, we need to research the supports that are available – how you can help yourself or others right now – and what resources still need much improvement so that you can call upon action in your community.

Being aware of the symptoms of depression is critical:

  • sleep difficulties, either sleeping more or less (insomnia, early morning waking);
  • changes in appetite (either more or less hunger);
  • weight gain or loss;
  • a failure to enjoy normal sources of pleasure;
  • difficulty concentrating;
  • sadness, guilt or hopelessness;
  • crying or unusual irritability.

Someone who is clinically depressed sees the world in the above ways each day. It’s important for the individual or those around to seek professional help.

Medication can help many with depression, as can Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Although CBT is a slower process with AS individuals and needs to be adapted to their thought process. Some studies suggest neurobiofeedback can be helpful with depression and there are a few early studies of its use with ASD patients. For those who prefer to avoid medication, this is certainly worth exploring. It is best to come to your medical sessions with the knowledge of various treatments so that you can be prepared to discuss what is best for you.

It’s important to think about addressing the factors that can result in depression.

Parenting the Anxious Child

It is said that 40 million Americans live with an anxiety disorder, which is more than the occasional worry or fear. We all experience anxiety to some level. Anxiety in children is common when separated from their parents or from familiar surroundings. However there is a type of anxiety that is more severe and may be misdiagnosed. Anxiety left unchecked or treatment may become paralyzing to everyday life.

Below we’ve gathered several lists for you. What does anxiety look like? How can it manifest, when is it critical to consult a doctor and what methods are available to self calm. Here we go….

Often, anxiety disorders involve repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes (panic attacks). These feelings of anxiety and panic interfere with daily activities, are difficult to control, are out of proportion to the actual danger and can last a long time. You may avoid places or situations to prevent these feelings. Symptoms may start during childhood or the teen years and continue into adulthood.

Depression, Aspergers, Help, Resources

Examples of anxiety disorders include generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder (social phobia), specific phobias and separation anxiety disorder. You can have more than one anxiety disorder. Sometimes anxiety results from a medical condition that needs treatment.

According to research from the Mayo Clinic, several types of anxiety disorders exist:

  • Agoraphobia (ag-uh-ruh-FOE-be-uh) is a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and often avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped, helpless or embarrassed.
  • Anxiety disorder due to a medical condition includes symptoms of intense anxiety or panic that are directly caused by a physical health problem.
  • Generalized anxiety disorder includes persistent and excessive anxiety and worry about activities or events — even ordinary, routine issues. The worry is out of proportion to the actual circumstance, is difficult to control and affects how you feel physically. It often occurs along with other anxiety disorders or depression.
  • Panic disorder involves repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes (panic attacks). You may have feelings of impending doom, shortness of breath, chest pain, or a rapid, fluttering or pounding heart (heart palpitations). These panic attacks may lead to worrying about them happening again or avoiding situations in which they’ve occurred.
  • Selective mutism is a consistent failure of children to speak in certain situations, such as school, even when they can speak in other situations, such as at home with close family members. This can interfere with school, work and social functioning.
  • Separation anxiety disorder is a childhood disorder characterized by anxiety that’s excessive for the child’s developmental level and related to separation from parents or others who have parental roles.
  • Social anxiety disorder (social phobia) involves high levels of anxiety, fear and avoidance of social situations due to feelings of embarrassment, self-consciousness and concern about being judged or viewed negatively by others.
  • Specific phobias are characterized by major anxiety when you’re exposed to a specific object or situation and a desire to avoid it. Phobias provoke panic attacks in some people.
  • Substance-induced anxiety disorder is characterized by symptoms of intense anxiety or panic that are a direct result of misusing drugs, taking medications, being exposed to a toxic substance or withdrawal from drugs.
  • Other specified anxiety disorder and unspecified anxiety disorder are terms for anxiety or phobias that don’t meet the exact criteria for any other anxiety disorders but are significant enough to be distressing and disruptive.

Parents should be alerted to the signs so they can intervene early to prevent lifelong complications. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry offers you different types of anxiety in children.

Symptoms of separation anxiety include:

• constant thoughts and intense fears about the safety of parents and caretakers

• refusing to go to school

• frequent stomachaches and other physical complaints

• extreme worries about sleeping away from home

• being overly clingy

• panic or tantrums at times of separation from parents

• trouble sleeping or nightmares

Asperger’s, Depression and College Students

Depression is most common in adolescents and young adults with Asperger’s, and particularly in those with stronger intellectual and verbal skills. That means college students with Asperger’s are at a very high risk for depression. This is particularly true for freshmen, who are transitioning to the college experience. Although I’ve seen this in later years as well when students are dealing with more challenging classes, social issues, and upcoming graduation as triggers.

Let me tell you about one college student’s experience with depression:

Franklin went off to a good college based on his excellent academics in high school. However, he’d been provided with executive function scaffolding all through high school. His parents and a teacher had helped him organize his time and initiate his work. The school counselor and his parents had feedback from teachers if he was falling behind on assignments.

In college, he was on his own.

He was supposed to check in with the disability office, but he resisted being seen as needing help. Franklin had challenging classes and had taken on a very full load of five classes; he had always set his standards and expectations of himself very high. Franklin began falling behind in writing papers for his English literature class because writing was difficult and he wrote slowly. His effort was going into writing, so he fell behind on the reading. He tended to procrastinate as the pile of work grew. Franklin was embarrassed at being behind, so he stopped going to English. He also was stressed by feeling at a loss in terms of the 24/7 social demands.

As you might expect, all of this stress was a trigger for depression. In Franklin’s mind, one was either a success or a failure, and he was a complete failure.

More Productivity with Less Struggle for Parents of Kids on the Spectrum

With your summer all wrapped up, I hope you’re off to a strong fall. Speaking of fall – I couldn’t resist – are you or your family struggling? Struggling is part of being human – you’re not alone. Do you crave strategies to move past your challenges? 
Of course you do so let’s start with a quick definition.

What’s your #1 struggle right now?

Is it…
*Never getting it all done?
*Pesky thoughts nagging at you – are you doing enough?
*Living in fight or flight stress?
*Repeat offenders – facing the same problems over and over again?
*Wishing there was another way – but not being able to see it?

What if there’s a solution right there in the struggle? It’s completely possible and just waiting for you. I say, whatever your struggle, let’s discover the way out.

You may be thinking, that’s great for other people, but not me and my family. Raising kids is no joke. It’s hard work. It involves all the things. Raising a kid on the spectrum is all the things on steroids! I’ve come to know this full on truth from every “steroid living” parent and youth.

Since they were little, you’ve been inundated with every conceivable intervention, strategy, advice, philosophy, educational approach and on it goes. They’ve been your lifeline and your achilles heel. Since we know society is on information overload it only makes sense that you, “steroid parent,”have been taxed beyond measure. I’m not pedaling snake oil or quick fixes. I don’t pretend to know what your days really look like and feel like day – after – day.

What I’m offering is a slight shift. A click on your mental and heart dial. If you’re open to a shift in your perspective, it can hold the potential for a whole new way. It’s ironic this shifting perspective deal. You know how challenging it is for your beloved child on the spectrum to shift perspective. You know the huge strain that creates. You even know how to shift around their lack of shifting.

In some ways this ability has saved your sanity. In other ways it’s been unknowingly perpetuating your frustration. You’ve learned to anticipate the needs, reactions, and overall experience within seconds. With this, you’ve got to be exhausted. It’s draining to have to figure it all out – all the time. That creates pressure. And nobody has their full set of resources (their best thinking) available while living in constant pressure.