The Monster that Seeks to Manipulate, Fracture and Demolish
It is not Aspergers nor Autism, but it’s a comorbidity that, if undiagnosed may devour, destroy and create a lifetime of chaos in the families they ‘belong’ to. A sociopath is a term used to describe someone who has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). People with ASPD can’t understand others’ feelings. They’ll often break rules or make impulsive decisions without feeling guilty for the harm they cause. People with ASPD may also use “mind games” to control friends, family members, co-workers, and even strangers. They may also be perceived as charismatic or charming. Know this is NOT autism, it is a comorbidity commonly known as ASPD or Antisocial Personality Disorder.
The above is a clinical definition, but to those abused in the wake of their path, it reads a lifetime of pain. It is a destroyer. It’s what you pray for protection from…and it just might be a family member.
The parent must see the signs to recognize and acknowledge their child (or self) has such symptoms. If not for the child, than for the lifetime of grief and destruction (sometimes death) the sociopath will inflict upon all family members and those in their path. Getting early treatment is vital in dealing with all aggressive mental disorders including bi-polar, schizophrenia, mania, oppositional defiant disorder and more. With appropriate diagnosis and treatment, people may find relief from their symptoms and discover ways to cope effectively.
They are compulsive liars and even if they do apologize, it’s never genuine
Sociopaths are people who have little to no conscience. They will lie, cheat, steal and manipulate others for their own benefit. They know exactly what they are doing, they just don’t care because they don’t think that way. If you are naive enough, they will brainwash you into doing exactly what they say and what they want which is the only time a sociopath is truly happy.
Sociopaths can hide this well if you haven’t known them for long. They’re really nice and charming at first, almost too nice, but it’s extremely fake. The niceness will last until a problem occurs in which they are at fault however, you will be manipulated to believe that you are in the wrong. There is no reasoning with this person. Things have to be their way or it’s the highway. They will blame you for hurting them (even if they’re the ones who hurt you) or blame the world for all their problems. They are compulsive liars and even if they do apologize, it’s never genuine. Most are anti social and have few to no friends because most people around them don’t want to associate with them. However the sociopath will again tell you that “people hate me for no reason/the world is against me”. It is said that the only person who will put up with a sociopath is someone who is off their rocker or someone who has absolutely no self respect or quite possibly, it is a relative and not so easy to disassociate.
Sociopathy is more likely the product of childhood trauma and physical or emotional abuse. Because sociopathy appears to be learned rather than innate, sociopaths are capable of empathy in certain circumstances, and with certain individuals, but not others.
The fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), released by the American Psychiatric Association in 2013, lists both sociopathy and psychopathy under the heading of
Antisocial Personality Disorders (ASPD). These disorders share many common behavioral traits, which leads to some of the confusion.
Key traits that sociopaths and psychopaths share include:
- A disregard for laws and social mores
- A disregard for the rights of others
- A failure to feel remorse or guilt
- A tendency to display violent or aggressive behavior
Sociopaths tend to be nervous and easily agitated. They are volatile and prone to emotional outbursts, including fits of rage. They are more likely than are psychopaths to be uneducated and live on the fringes of society. They are sometimes unable to hold down a steady job or to stay in one place for very long. It is often difficult, but not entirely impossible, for sociopaths to form attachments with others.
Many sociopaths are able to form an attachment to a particular individual or group, although they have no regard for society or its rules in general. Therefore, the meaningful attachments of any sociopath will be few in number and limited in scope. As a rule, they will struggle with relationships.
One surprising aspect is to see how they enjoy other people’s pain and hardship.
Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, Training Director of the High Conflict Institute in San Diego
Profile of the Sociopath
Common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.
- Glibness and Superficial Charm
- Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims. - Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as “their right.” - Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests. - Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way. - Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises. - Incapacity for Love
- Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common. - Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others’ feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them. - Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others. - Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet “gets by” by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc. - Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others’ lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed. - Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts. - Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively. - Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.
How YOU Feel around the Sociopathic Predator
How do you feel around the person? It’s often your emotions that first tell you to beware, because your brain wants to believe them. Many people marry sociopaths, or hire them, do business deals with them, or elect them to responsible positions, even though they saw some warning signs. They wanted to believe the person’s words rather than pay attention to how they felt. Trust your feelings more than their words. If you have an uncomfortable or extreme feeling, check it out. Do a little research or ask around about what people think of so-and-so.
Fear. One common feeling around a sociopath is that they could hurt you if they wanted to. Sociopaths can be predators, so you may naturally feel uncomfortable being alone with them. You may suddenly get the feeling that you want to get out of a situation. Go, and ask questions later. Don’t let them talk you out of your fears. Take your time and get more background information about them.
Infatuation. This is the other extreme. Because of their many extremely positive words, people can fall in love with them—especially if they are lonely, grieving or have low self-esteem at the time. This also goes for hiring. In today’s fast-paced and competitive business world, sociopaths can make themselves look like a superstar. If you feel swept off your feet by a potential business partner, employee or employer, you may be falling for a sociopath. Since they are everywhere, you have to maintain a healthy skepticism no matter where you are.
Extreme sympathy. If you find yourself feeling extremely sympathetic toward someone, you may want to check out why. Sociopaths are skilled at claiming they have been victims and tell good stories to go with it. They often take advantage of people in vulnerable or sympathetic situations (the elderly, victims of in natural disasters, churchgoers, volunteers, etc.). By playing hard on your sympathy, they may be able to get you to do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do for anyone else.
If your gut is sending you signals and you’re brushing off feelings of anger, distrust, and fear, there is probably a good reason.
If a person living with a mental illness becomes aggressive or violent, some suggestions include:
- Try to remain calm, and speak in a calm, clear and slow voice.
- Give the person some physical space.
- Avoid a confrontation – sometimes leaving the house to wait for everyone to calm down is more productive.
- Have a plan – know who you are going to call if the aggressive behaviour continues or you feel there is a risk of harm to the person, yourself or others. For example, you might call a mental health crisis team or the police .
Their Behavior (The 90% Rule)
A surprisingly simple way to spot a sociopath is to stay focused on their behavior and ignore their words. Pay special attention to any extreme behavior—things they do that 90% of people would not. Ask yourself, Would I ever do that? Extreme behavior is common for sociopaths, but they quickly cover it up with excuses: I was tired. I was under a lot of stress. He (or she) made me do it. I had to do it given what the other person did. It almost doesn’t matter what the behavior was; their excuses are often the same. They are always blameless and rarely apologize, unless they are caught and it will make them look good.
Targets of blame. Many sociopaths end up focused on Targets of Blame—people they feel justified in treating cruelly, whether in their families, at work, or in their communities. They often enjoy the suffering of other people. While they may target anyone, most people will avoid them. The ones they keep targeting or bullying are those who stay engaged with them. Either they get aggressive back with the sociopath (who can do aggressive better than almost anyone else) or they show their fear or frustration. Both approaches are unwise. It’s better to calmly disengage than to show how they affect your emotions. They will enjoy your helpless anger and/or your helpless frustration; it just confirms that they are dominating you.
Smiles, smirks, and laughter. One surprising aspect is to see how they enjoy other people’s pain and hardship. In legal cases, sociopaths smile, smirk or outright laugh when a victim tells their story in a deposition or in open court. It gets your attention, because, again, 90% of people would never do that. They would know better and feel some empathy for the victim. If you see someone smiling, smirking, or laughing out loud as they watch another’s pain on TV, in a movie, or on the street at an accident, you may be watching a sociopath who can’t help himself or herself.
Entrapped by a Sociopath?
Unfortunately, narcissistic sociopaths are good at finding the right people to manipulate. They know that you are trusting. They know you will make excuses for their bad behavior because you don’t want to see it for what it really is.
However, if your gut is sending you signals and you’re brushing off feelings of anger, distrust, and fear, there is probably a good reason. This is known as “cognitive dissonance.” You want to believe that this person you know is as good as they appear, even though you know it all seems too good to be true.
The first step to dealing with this person is to stop reinterpreting the facts. Don’t give someone with a narcissistic sociopathic personality the “benefit of the doubt.” You’re a good, trusting person who wants to see the good in others—that’s understandable. This may make it hard for you to see clearly. You might also be in a disadvantaged social or financial position that impairs your ability to fight back.
Most importantly, however, if the relationship is abusive, you must find a way to leave. If there is no abuse, you can set boundaries, build your assertiveness, and set limits, but you can’t change the other person. It’s not an easy decision whether to stay or go. Gain awareness and help from others and confront the situation with as much logic and rational thought as you can muster. Fighting or arguing with the narcissistic sociopath won’t help and will only make things worse.
If you know someone who fits the criteria for a narcissistic sociopath, it is important to recognize that it’s unlikely that person will change or seek help. Your best option is to arm yourself with knowledge, set strong boundaries, and distance yourself from the person as much as possible. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship with someone displaying these qualities, it is important to find a safe way to leave.
Portions of the above information is credited to the following:
The Better Health Channel, HealthLine, Psychology Today and the National Alliance on Mental Illness
Gabriela Lemos was born in Porto Alegre, Brasil, and was raised in San Antonio, Texas. She is currently a student at UTSA, graduating in December 2014 with a Bachelor degree in English. Brie states that she loves language and words, and the way in which people communicate with each other. She has always been interested and attracted to the autism community. “I find those on the spectrum to be incredible in so many ways, and I believe we can all learn from each other in our different strengths and weaknesses. I would love to use my talents to aid those who are not as strong in areas which I have confidence, and in turn receive an infinite amount of lessons and aid from those who I work with. Everything you send out, comes back to you, and I plan to practice sending out love and compassion every day”. We feel so fortunate to offer Brie’s talent of writing as well as her passion for autism awareness every week through our Aspergers101 Weekly.
Thank you for the read . It was very helpful.
I have basically been imprisoned in “ our “ home for 20 years . She is now turning our teenage daughter. I have just about all the life sucked out of me and this is about all I can write this second .
William
I am With you. 15 years of living with a very wealthy man who is a narcissistic psychopath. We have 3 young children together and I cant Leave. He’s threatened to kill me. All I can Hope for is that he dies suddenly one day. He’s 45 years older than me.
I think that the time has come for everyone to drop labels and diagnoses because they aren’t very helpful. I’ve spent years in exhaustive research due to my own experience with this particular personality type. It took me to endless articles and side-by-side lists about borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, autism/aspberger’s, sociopathy and psychopathy. I do firmly believe that all of these “disorders” are trauma responses, and there is clear evidence now of the very real physical damage done to the brain by trauma (whether that trauma is in utero, physical, mental or spiritual). Trauma is trauma, and it all does damage to the brain. These “symptoms” manifest as a result.
Frankly, I don’t see a heck of a lot of difference between any of the aforementioned “disorders” that I mentioned. Slight differences in intent perhaps, but the impact is the same. It’s just slightly different variations on the same theme.
The lesson I have learned is this – this is a type of personality, trying to understand or excuse due to trauma/abuse/“mental illness” is useless and just keeps you spinning your wheels. No matter what name you put on it or how much people try to destigmatize this, it won’t work because this personality type causes SO MUCH HARM and, it seems, is incapable of learning. So my only advice to myself and others now is – if you can completely avoid, do it. It sounds cold, but it’s for your own self-protection. Don’t waste years trying to change this or waiting for them to “wake up” and see you. It won’t happen. Cut your losses and RUN!
I agree with pretty much everything you’re saying .. I also understand the relentless searching for a definitive ‘type’ to have some sort of clarity. BUT as you sift through endless blogs, websites & information you find yourself battling it out in your own brain ‘well it’s all of those things but not so much that trait’
‘That’s pretty much all the traits there wrapped up but apparently that one doesn’t fit ’
You just get consumed by it, & all the while your life still sucks & the outcome is the same no matter what the ‘diagnosis’ !!
However unlike my husband who was a typical Narc & was I able to kick out .. I can’t do that with my 12 yr old son who is literally making our lives miserable. He chastises, bullies & tries to control his younger brother on a daily basis & I was punched in the mouth last week AGAIN!
He laughs inappropriately at my upset or indeed hurting his brother .. I could go on!
Really hard place for me to be as a mother because I naturally love my children unconditionally. But sadly I feel if he doesn’t get the right help (which I’m desperately trying to do) then he will no longer be able to live with us in the family home as he gets older, bigger, stronger
I’ve been dealing with this personality type for years. I watched a child grow up with it and I saw the manifestation of it. Unfortunately, I’m in a helpless position as I am not in authority to force them into therapy. Parents who are in denial and who coddle this personality type will just perpetuate the situation. I finally just decided to deal with the person as little as possible. I can feel this persons terrible energy when I’m around them. They are an opportunistic abuser so you have to always be hyper vigilant and aware. The things he will say and do are bizarre, repulsive and shocking at times. The best thing you can do is gray rock a person like this and deal with them as little as possible… minimal interaction.
Part2. To whoever may read my comments,There is sooooo much I haven’t included ,so if anyone has any questions about something I haven’t given detail about,just ask ,I would be more than happy to includejust so everyone knows this is first time my life storey is online,for some reasons ,after doing all the work printing my long storey,just before or after I’m done ,the whole thing just disappears,,and Im thinking I’m not going to redo it. 2nd charge, as described in part 1 how I met Danielle, to those out there ,I really need to explain in detail some parts, She was definately a criminal, her 16 year old son and her were perfect tag team thieves, it didn’t clue in to me until later,but when I brought her over to my place ,dumb me . Her son would always constantly call her cell ,asking when are you coming home, socialpathic sent that bright when you get to know they have a routine pattern they stick by that never changes,for commiting criminal acts,so when we are about to leave to her place ,she calls her son ,I’m leaving now.after I get home I notice certain things moved and things of value went missing,I thought it’s just me ,and it will turn up. Usually the things of value I had hidden.. so I would never check on them.. this went on for months . Until one day ,I left my clothes in her bedroom with my wallet and I knew exactly how much money was in it. To have a shower, when I checked my wallet ,I noticed 20$ was missing, her son was a major thief even stealing his mom’s money to buy pot .something clicked, and I felt like I should go check on the hidden valuables, when I got home, I checked ,sure enough they were missing..one day her son bragging like he’s a gangster,shows his mom how he gets keys made to someone’s place. He takes some play dough and presses the person’s key into it ,when they arnt looking, then the picture becomes clear, he must have made a print of my house key ,when he calls his mom at my place ,it’s telling her he’s ready.. she calls back saying I’m leaving now, he gets a ride to my place before we leave used his copy of my key to enter ,,now he has time to go through anything he wants ,without me being suspicious,…I thought wow ,that’s pretty sneaky .I changed locks ,and kept my keys always with me..that’s when another scheme comes up..this is when her attitude changes instantly where she gets extremely angry ,and then accuses me of sleeping with or seeing another woman,to the point I just need to go for a walk… I’m that time I leave ,she can now look for valuables, except it’s not what goes missing ,it’s now my passport,my cell phone,my important paperwork,my copies of ownership to the house ,I didn’t notice these items missing until I needed them .I knew she took them ,I searched threw her stuff late while she was sleeping, but couldn’t find them, where ever she put them she knew if I found out, that I might look for them.. she had all the bases covered,like they have been doing this for quite awhile, so I decided to set a trap ,I wrote out wills and put them in envelopes with names on the outside and preceded to put them all together in a case with a key lock,one will the envelope had her name on it . And on the will I wrote to Danielle an effen thievn biatch that deserves nothing, lol.. so I knew if I went out for something she had time to go into the case ,I would get a reaction. Sure enough I went to a shop for a bit. When I came home.. she was furious.. I said what’s wrong.. and she calls me every name in book and then spits in my face. Yeah!! I got my proof.. I told her I had a hidden video Camara on her and caught her stealing all of stuff. I told her just give them back and I won’t call the cops..thinking she would , but she denied everything, and took the first flight to Manitoba where her daughter lives. She also took my 2 one ounce each custom gold rings to pay for the flight. I hid them where I thought there’s no way she would find them .. but she did. Unbelievable . She tells me before she leaves if you call the cops ,I’m going to tell them you beat me all the time . I laughed and said ,they will never believe you.. she replied cops don’t fck with that sht ,they take it very seriously, ,I called the cops. ,,Wow probably the dumbest move I made.. cops show up I file report ,they visit her ,do nothing as expected..she tells them I threatened to kill her ,and I beat her. Ok you know where that’s going.. ? .. part 3 next..
Hello Gabriela,I just wanted to know,that you are 100 percent on the diagnosis of socialpathic behavior,sadly there is an enormous amount of people out there ,I would say at least 50 percent or more, I am an older male adult with autism ,I did not know I was autistic until one day ,while dating a female socialpath who I met on a dating site,Danielle ,while I felt lucky I even got a reply back, she was what I thought was a a caring ,loving,complementing woman,but 3 months later things changed to like she was a complete different evil person in a second,for no reason.? After months of verbal and mental abuse ,I thought what’s wrong with me .so I decided to enter all the signs of what I thought was wrong with me with an online search ,I press enter button, and autistism pops up , I read everything I could read on various sites, I thought wow !! 49 years later ,my whole life finally started to make sense. I then thought hmmm ,Danielle? I told her all about my self diagnosis,and convinced her to do the same..she gave me all her signs , I then hit the enter button ,when the page appears ,it reads narcissistic socialpath. Hmm that doesn’t look good..When I begin to read about this diagnosis ,again wow!! That described her personality to perfection. To someone going through life not knowing that personality traits are distinguishable with some being considered dangerous ,this info is sooo important, it would take a low self esteemed ,recluse individual to be made aware of certain personality as links led to many other disorders, to make a long storey short ,since I could never explain myself ,If I got blamed for something I didn’t do ,I would just except the consequence ,because if I did try to explain ,words would not come to my mind and to anyone listening,they would think I’m lying ,unfortunately due to our socialpathic police force,and my appearance of looking native which I am not ,I found that biased cops categorize certain people ,they become the socialpathic group system and will always side with the smooth talking ,drama queen ,(fake crying ) emotionally upset ,storey teller, .How someone with no remorse can pull that off ,I even believed it,omfg Emmy award nomination for sure, I’m thinking don’t even bother trying to explain . I could see the look on cops face ,so I end up with 2 separate charges of assault on 2 different socialpathic female G.F.s both cases the socialpathic cop filed charges .1st charge ,she was l thought my soulmate,Kim was with her for 19 years ,her dad was a major socialpath ,and her mom was an alcoholic she attributed both traits , but take away the alcohol ,she was the sweetest person I ever met..on way home from beach with daughter and Kim ,I asked Kim if she could drive home ,I worked night shift ,and I needed a nap ,before work ,when I wake up we are still driving ,and heading opposite direction of home ,I looked at her and she was pissed drunk ,while driving? I told her pull over now ,we have our daughter in the truck, I’m driving ,she didn’t like my tone of voice. kept driving,preceded to rip the steering wheel cover off and threw it out the window. I manage to get her to pull over, she gets out of the truck and says ,I’m going to throw your keys in the bush, so I race to stop her ,and an undercover cop sees this whole driving by ,he turns around ,next thing I know Im in the bush looking for my keys and sees her crying in the truck ,he calls an on duty cop ,they decide to charge me with assault only because I did not have a record ,I heard one day to the other .let’s just put him in the system,meaning a record and prints.. I get put in cop car an taken to jail. Because I never said a word. And to this day I would do the same, I did not want her arrested for DUI ,I wanted my daughter home and safe ,was all I was thinking,since cop filed charges ,lawyer says to plea bargain ,I would get 9 months probation and the charges would be dropped off if at end of probation ,no incidences, I thought ok that sounds good ,9 months later perfect report sent in ,I told the female parole officer the truth who I enjoyed the visits as she was cute,and caring.She knew I wasn’t what the cop described,she could read personalities ,unlike socialpathic cops. I find later on that the charge of assault was still on record ,as now Kim’s sister narcasistic socialpath mellisa phones social services on her sister ,(always drunk) babysitting her kids ,we had my parents ,her mother,her grand father ,my best friend,all die within last 5 years ,we both went through hard times.and I started drinking too. It was tooo much for both of us .but .we made an agreement to stop completely when kara starts school , only weeks away. she inherited the autism from me ☹️ I could tell she didn’t speak very well. Short storey in the end ,her sister lied to social services ,court takes daughter because of lack of social skills .,social services tells us to separate. I end up with no one. All because of a family member who I think are the worst for socialpathic control . I did notice a certain trait ,those with this disorder had their thyroid gland
Removed. Continued part 2
Just a few criticisms I have:
– Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) are two completely different things. They aren’t meant to be used interchangeably.
– Someone having NPD and/or ASPD doesn’t inherently make them an abuser or criminal — it just means they’ll have a hard time with empathy and impulse control.
– Some people with ASPD and/or NPD can form genuine bonds with others.
I am an Italian descent born in Brazil, and actually living in USA, California.
I thank you Gabriela Lemos for your input towards this educational posting referent Sociopath
Please keep up with your good work.
Maria A Rossetto.
I was very interested to finally read an article with this title but disappointed that it didn’t compare the crossover traits of the two more thoroughly. I have dated a guy for too many years who we “all” suspected may have undiagnosed Asperger’s but more likely is a sociopath. Early on, I read as much as I could about the traits of both and on a good day was sure he was an Aspie but on a bad day a Sociopath. Over the years, I gradually decided it was more than likely the latter but it hasn’t stopped me still being friends with him (long distance) and missing him as my boyfriend rather than just a friend now. He moved to Canada with the pretense of being closer to his five children with his ex-wife of 17 years but really it gave him the opportunity to “smooch” off them and work both legally & illegally in the thriving Montreal film market. He’s never been violent nor even raised his voice very often and constantly apologized remorsefully of late for having been such a “bad boyfriend” to me but as time has passed I feel less charmed and gratified by empty words. At the moment, he’s been tasked with helping me with my taxes and two years have passed with nothing being done in spite of him taking care of his own. I know I need to be stronger in extricating myself emotionally from the relationship but find myself missing so many aspects of our life together, his intelligent conversation 24/7, his attractiveness and gentlemanly charm, his constant company, his cappuccinos and fabulous cooking to name but a few. It’s always been easy for me (and other girlfriends and ex-wife) to justify his bad behavior and total lack of financial contribution to the rent and everyday cost of living, his MO of failing to disclose other female relationships, his habit of only getting in touch with anyone before needing to stay at their home for free, his difficulty forming male friends relationships until recently and his change in behavior, dress and vernacular depending on who he’s been associating with from one production shoot to another. A freelance filmmaker is a perfect cover for a checkered work history and a reason to be forever on the move. Everything he does or talks about is film camera work and his desire to become s DP. He never has enough money to contribute to any bills or buy presents, even for his mother, but never goes a day without a great bottle of wine and expensive cheese for himself. Writing all this is cathartic because I now find it harder to ever think his “learned” behavior has been a direct result of undiagnosed Asperger’s.
Too late , the damage has been done ….
So , what on earth do I do now ?
:-(
Our leaders all need to be screened for this, and kicked out if they fail the tests.
Everyone describes what a sociopath does and is what happens to a person who is gaslighted to the point that murder itself seems more humane. I have been in women’s health my whole life and never heard the term gaslighting. The effects of it, if you survive it? Why don’t you bring more awareness to it? Law enforcement, nursing 101. Do something. I can tell you the definition of it now about 20 years too late, the nothing that is leftover. The free ride the gaslighting will get when he’s done is vomit inducing.
I fail to see the connection between A.S.D. aka Asperger’s and any other thing you mention. You are a victim of professionally organized thought. You may help some that you have misdiagnosed altogether — but that will be by chance.
First, and the only error I will point out; you have swallowed hook, line, and sinker the mis-defining of empathy from established authority. Please do not entertain the idea of treating anyone with A.S.D., such as me.
Hello Phil, though late in responding, the opening line of the above article reads: “It is not Aspergers nor Autism, but it’s a comorbidity that, if undiagnosed may devour, destroy and create a lifetime of chaos in the families they ‘belong’ to.” There is no connection mentioned between ASD (Asperger Syndrome) and Sociopathic behavior. That was the point of the article.
I have had the – let’s say – opportunity to work with a few individuals who exhibited ASPD – all students – except one adult. They matched the traits listed almost 100%. I’ll never forget one young man. He asked for help on some work. I sat down beside him – he was on my right hand side – and we started to delve into where he was hung up – on a problem. Without warning or any indication, I reacted and raised my right hand. I caught his fist just inches from my face and held it there for a few seconds. I turned to look at him and his eyes were cold – and not expecting me to look at him. But then they changed as his facial expression did to – What just happened? I lowered his arm to the desk – not letting lose just yet. He simply asked me, how did you do that? Blocking your blow you mean? I take it you are not used to someone being able to do that. He just continued to stare at me, his hand and arm now loose and I knew what he was thinking. I said you CAN try again but the result will be different. I will not only block it, but I’ll put you in restraint on the floor and then take you to isolation (we had ‘time out rooms’). His eyes never changed and I could see his facial expression alter some…..and…….his body relaxed. He again asked how did I know he was going to hit me. I just told him, it is what I do, what I have dealt with many time from others and it is what I train others to do. What I did not tell him was out of my peripheral vision I saw him turn his head slightly and he was ‘eyeing’ me – I knew instinctively he was going to try to hit me as I also saw his right arm start to move. All I did was continue with the conversation as if I suspected nothing but knowing at any moment, I could expect to block —–and hoped I was faster than he was. I judged correctly. BTW, with someone like this, you never really want to be more than within 3 feet of them – even better to sit across from them – which allows you more time to react to any threat.