We welcome our Aspergers101 readers to a series dedicated to you, the care-giver. Pause and re-fresh as Dr. Ghia Edwards takes us into the second of a series of four blogs aimed specifically toward you.
Caregivers, we are a special breed, we push through the pain to attend to the needs of those we care for but did you know that grief is a strong part of the lives of the caregiver. The medical definition of grief:
Grief: The normal process of reacting to a loss. The loss may be physical ( Such as death), social (Such as divorce), or occupational ( Such as a job). Emotional reactors of grief can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness and despair. Physical reactions of grief can include sleeping problems, changes in appetite, physical problems, or illness. https://www.medicinenet.com
When we are in the caregiver role, we can lose ourselves in the role we play and in that loss comes the grief. We no longer get to necessarily go to lunch and dinners with friends like we use to, or grab a cup of coffee with a family member. We don’t get our usual alone time or get to finish that clay pot we started to create in that art class, sometimes we just are at a loss for the things we have given up, albeit willingly.
There is such joy in caring for the people that we love but there is a tug of war that can happen and take over on the negative side, IF we are not actively pursuing our own healthy mindfulness state. Below are 10 helpful suggestions of how to heal your soul and below that, I am giving you a tool of self assessment on stress and depression of a person in our roles. After you score it please reach out and share the results with a safe person, clergy, friend, therapist. if you don’t have that person in place yet, pick up the phone and call my office, we understand and we care. There are many of us who understand the Spirit,Soul,Mind and Body process that the caregiver goes through but I say we need to bring more joy to the journey and that is only done in us realizing that we have to face what we are going through, be real with the circumstances and proactive in our own healing process.
How to Help HEAL YOUR SOUL When You are Grieving:
1) Sing and DANCE everywhere and whenever you can.
2) Love those around you and yourself enough to just BE
3) Live in the MOMENT and don’t run from the pain by self-medicating
4) Cherish the MEMORIES
5) Allow yourself to grieve, this will come in spurts, some days will feel fine and the next maybe not so fine.
6) Hold off on major decisions for 18 to 24 months, after the fog lifts
7) Be around safe people who will feed your SOUL and SPIRIT
8) LAUGH and LAUGH some MORE
9) Remember what is truly important, kid’s, family, close friends
10) Live and BREATHE and start again TOMORROW
Joy and Vivacious Laughter,
Dr. Ghia Edwards Psy.D.
281 772 5843