We welcome our Aspergers101 readers to a series dedicated to you, the care-giver. Pause and re-fresh as Dr. Ghia Edwards takes us into the second of a series of four blogs aimed specifically toward you.
Caregivers, we are a special breed, we push through the pain to attend to the needs of those we care for but did you know that grief is a strong part of the lives of the caregiver. The medical definition of grief:
Grief: The normal process of reacting to a loss. The loss may be physical ( Such as death), social (Such as divorce), or occupational ( Such as a job). Emotional reactors of grief can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness and despair. Physical reactions of grief can include sleeping problems, changes in appetite, physical problems, or illness. https://www.medicinenet.com
When we are in the caregiver role, we can lose ourselves in the role we play and in that loss comes the grief. We no longer get to necessarily go to lunch and dinners with friends like we use to, or grab a cup of coffee with a family member. We don’t get our usual alone time or get to finish that clay pot we started to create in that art class, sometimes we just are at a loss for the things we have given up, albeit willingly. 
There is such joy in caring for the people that we love but there is a tug of war that can happen and take over on the negative side, IF we are not actively pursuing our own healthy mindfulness state. Below are 10 helpful suggestions of how to heal your soul and below that, I am giving you a tool of self assessment on stress and depression of a person in our roles. After you score it please reach out and share the results with a safe person, clergy, friend, therapist. if you don’t have that person in place yet, pick up the phone and call my office, we understand and we care. There are many of us who understand the Spirit,Soul,Mind and Body process that the caregiver goes through but I say we need to bring more joy to the journey and that is only done in us realizing that we have to face what we are going through, be real with the circumstances and proactive in our own healing process.
How to Help HEAL YOUR SOUL When You are Grieving:
1) Sing and DANCE everywhere and whenever you can.
2) Love those around you and yourself enough to just BE
3) Live in the MOMENT and don’t run from the pain by self-medicating
4) Cherish the MEMORIES
5) Allow yourself to grieve, this will come in spurts, some days will feel fine and the next maybe not so fine.
6) Hold off on major decisions for 18 to 24 months, after the fog lifts
7) Be around safe people who will feed your SOUL and SPIRIT
8) LAUGH and LAUGH some MORE
9) Remember what is truly important, kid’s, family, close friends
10) Live and BREATHE and start again TOMORROW
http://www.freeworldministry.info/becks-depression-inventory/
Joy and Vivacious Laughter,
Dr. Ghia Edwards Psy.D.
281 772 5843
Asa ~ ( /’ay-sah/ ) is a Hebrew name, which means “doctor,” or “healer” and Dr. Ghia is used as both, she is a professor of Psychology, received her Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Southern California Seminary and is as well a licensed ordained minister. Dr. Ghia believes that MINDFULNESS and Wellness go hand in hand and is excited about conducting and being in the first phase of a student focused Mindfulness research project, at San Antonio College in Bexar County. Dr. Ghia Edwards teaches the art of staying in the here and now and believes in the concept of long term Spirit, Soul, Mind, Body health, which comes from living a life of Mindfulness.”The journey isn’t easy but it can be joyful”, Is one of the Doctors favorite sayings.
This article joined up the dots for me thanks. Think I’ve been in denial of feeling loss.
V. I totally understand and many of us have been there! I have a really great book you might like on grief recovery… E mail me and I will shoot the name and some other cool resources to you.
Blessings and Light,
Dr. Ghia
P.S.
Remember acknowledgment is the first step in the journey my friend.
Thankyou. I’m a carer and had just started to get over the loss of my father, then I separated from my partner and think I’m on the edge now! Details of that book would be good thanks.
Kind regards,
Vikki.
Vikki, Hi!!!!!!
Please forgive me for the delayed response, I had a different routine for this holiday time and just saw this! I would love to turn you on to this book for sure..,,Give me a call when you see this, even if it is this weekend :) 281 772 5843 Dr. Ghia
While I agree with the article, as a Psychologist I am not comfortable letting folks take the Beck Depression Inventory (BDI) without active support from a mental health professional. An elevated score can mean many things. Self diagnosis can be difficult, as witnessed by the internet confusion from a lot of information.
Hi James,
I totally agree with the whole self diagnosis issue, both you and I know it can be a challenge in our field but I love Becks so much because unless we know we have a problem, we can’t reach out for help. In my wellness approach to healing and health, I ascribe to the “Knowledge is power” mentality. I am so grateful for your post because seeking professional help is such an important part of Spirit, Soul, Mind and Body healing.
Joy and Love,
Dr. G