Reading Emotions: Embarrassment
Embarrassment is a powerful emotion. When we are in a social situation and feel ashamed, it’s not possible to control our reaction. After all, you can’t stop yourself from blushing, if that’s one of your responses to embarrassment.
In states of embarrassment people want to hide, become invisible, or, as the phrase goes, want to dig a hole and disappear in it. There is another phrase people use when talking about a moment of embarrassment: “I didn’t know where to look.”Continue Reading
Social Expectations: The Inability to Read Facial Expression
Attempting to “read expressions” is often a challenge for those on the Autism Spectrum. The reason is scientific, and not a choice the person is making. This fact helped me better understand raising my son Sam who is diagnosed with ASD. In the following video excerpt from “Coping to Excelling” documentary, it is explained that the frontal lobe of the brain, called the Fusiform Gyrus, is different in both anatomy and function, often confusing the person with Autism as how to respond.
Reading facial expressions is a learned behavior and may be taught, early on, by way of play acting or by cards showing different facial reactions. We did this very thing with Sam and now, at age 28, he is able to navigate among neurotypicals in social settings.
You can teach Teach Turn-Taking Skills which will help with social behaviors. It is suggested to start with:
1.Talk Stick – who has the stick, it is their turn to speak.
2.Board/Video Games – this is all about turn taking. You will build essential turn taking skills.
3.Set Sayings: “My Turn, Your Turn” – This allows the child to learn when it is time to speak and when it is time to listen.
4.Conversation Prompt/Talk Card – For conversations outside of their particular interests, this helps them to hear others and what they are saying. At the very least, learning turn taking skills.
5.Video Modeling – My son learned so much about various personalities by watching programming. There was a cartoon were he still references behaviors by these personalities on the little screen. We had discussions many times, and still do, about a persons behavior mirrored from that very show.
Sensory Processing Disorder and Autism: Taste and the Picky Eater
Many parents experience the “picky eater” from time to time. As with most differences on the autism spectrum, the difference in describing the picky eater with autism can be found in the intensity or degree. Because of this relative understanding, one might be critical of the parent with a child with autism and tell them they just need to make their child eat food that is more nutritionally sound. But the “picky eater” is really just someone with sensory processing issues in regards to taste.
I was in a meeting where the educators and the parents were discussing the narrow food choices of the daughter as being a nutritional and even behavioral concern. At one point, one of the educators told the parents that she, herself, had a picky eater, and that she just had to lay down the rules and “force” the issue. The teacher proceeded to tell the parents that they should do the same thing. The mother became upset very quickly and in a raised voice told the educator, “Don’t you think I’ve tried everything to make her eat healthy?! I’ve had food spit out at me more times than I can count, and I’ve had the kitchen torn apart after a food-related meltdown . . . I’ve done it ALL!!!”
I am trying to make the point that we are talking about a matter that goes beyond “picky eating”.
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Aspergers and Driving – From Someone Who Knows
Aspergers youth process information differently than their neuro-typical peers. More specifically, they generally think in a visual, concrete, detail-oriented manner for every task. They like to know every detail about something, especially when it is critical to survival and to excellence at a given task; driving encompasses both survival and excellence.
Driver’s education courses and books serve as necessary and insightful preparatory activities for the inexperienced and exceptional driver. Further, each driver has different habits and preferences, good and bad. When a driver or parent uses these habits advantageously, they serve as indicators for level of comfort and as foreshadowers of future mistakes.
Among the most common and serious issues that Aspergers youth face is the fact that many of them do not always think fast enough to make snap decisions. This issue especially applies when Aspergers drivers travel in unfamiliar places in general.
For example: an Aspergers driver who usually travels on two-lane in-state roadways near his home would likely have trouble navigating through a series of one-way city streets in Baltimore, MD, considering that he does not typically watch out for one-way signs there.
As a safeguard, they desire to stick with the same few routes every day because they fit into their pre-established driving parameters. These parameters could include the avoidance of bridges due to fear of heights or bumpy roads due to sensory overload caused by bouncing in the seat.
Let’s face it, unpleasant stimulation and loss of direction often triggers meltdowns and panic attacks in the Aspergers driver, thereby further clouding his judgment. Behind the wheel, one bad situation leads to another.
To resolve these issues, there are actions that parents and Aspergers drivers can both take to make judgment clear in order to ensure safe travels.
Continue ReadingChoose Your Child
Such a title makes for a bold statement but also dictates a life-changing action. When my son Sam was first diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (then, named Asperger Syndrome) our lives certainly changed. Though almost 20 years ago, much the same triumphs and challenges still exist for him but on a different level. One thing that proved to be most significant, if not monumental, was the moment I realized society expected one thing from my child, and the Autism dictated a much different path.
Clearly I came to this realization just as if I came to a fork in the road. I would act to accommodate the disapproving people or I would embrace all that was my child.
We Chose Sam
By doing so, there was an immediate relief. Relief from reacting to looks of disapproval to out and out judgmental comments that most certainly came from a place of never having a child on the spectrum. There were surprisingly some neighbors, family, strangers, teachers and especially other parents who would condescend his actions and that of mine as his mother. This took me by surprise.
Looking back and with a bit more wisdom, I realize they were not acting out of love nor even compassion but with an unkind heart and hurtful tongue that would probably change in an instant should Autism come into their lives as well. So unsolicited comments shouldn’t matter, but they so hurt. You as the parent already have a lot on your plate, you have to navigate all that Autism requires and reacting to these actions of others seems nothing but toxic that you try to absorb on behalf of your child. Exhausting!
The Fork in the Road
So coming to that fork in the road you must think, do I try an accommodate the negative if not naive people or do I simply choose my child and their heart desire and will-being. Truly it seemed (and still does) as simple as a choice.
By choosing your child it not only offers the freeing relief of truly ignoring the unwelcomed ‘suggestions’ of others, but allows your energy bank time to focus on your child and helping them develop their own lives! For example, if your child is hyper focused on astronomy, lay a blanket in the front yard and together watch the stars at night. No matter what neighbors might think.
If the interest turns to trains, together make a trip to a train museum or find a local railway in which to ride together. Let go of worrying what others may think. You’ll not only begin a freeing relationship with your child, you will also begin their foundation to find the specialized interest that may someday become their occupation.
I truly love a statement that Dr. Temple Grandin makes often, “it’s these specialized interests that often lead to a source of income for those on the Autism Spectrum.”
By choosing your child, you instill their confidence. You are showing them, by example, that their world may need to learn the skills to get along with their neurotypical peers, but their rhythm is their own. Help them find their unique place into the world and you’ll discover your scope has increased substantially in the process.
An Evening with Dr. Temple Grandin
Dr. Grandin speaks as I’ve never heard her before! Opens up about her life experiences while offering valuable tips for succeeding with the Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis. Great listen for parents, educators, employers, and those with ASD. She touches on putting career first and autism second and gives examples of her previous jobs including that with NASA. Schools should be focusing on the skills/trade opportunities for kids with autism as many excel in these programs. She also discusses difference in how all those with autism process information, some visual others not so much so. There are places in the workplace for both. Very inspirational as she ends with both arms up in the air and the audience rising to the feet for the occasion. We feel you will do the same.
Specialized Interests
Temple went on to say that for those with a specialized interests, who embrace robotics, artificial intelligence and automation may find themselves in a good position within our future workplace.
Within the USA Today article, Bill Brennan, audit transformation leader for PricewaterhouseCoopers, states that he is now hiring employees with backgrounds in science, technology and engineering. “We need those individuals to help us as we get into data analysis, analytics, data security, cloud computing. The future employee is going to have a combination of those skills,” Brennan said.
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Documentary: Coping to Excelling Solutions for School-Age Children Diagnosed ASD or Asperger Syndrome
It is my hope that this documentary will aid you in your journey with Autism/Asperger Syndrome. I began this work early on when my son Sam was finally diagnosed. One strong statement that is in the documentary came from Dr. Jannesa Manning whose area of study, at the time of filming, was Neuroscience Imaging with a focus on discovering Autistic Minds.
Coping to Excelling DVD
Excellent overview of High Functioning Autism and Aspergers Syndrome!
Coping to Excelling sheds illuminating light on the topic of High-Functioning Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome in school-aged children. Narrated by a Mother of a son with Asperger’s, this engaging program allows the viewer to ‘see through the eyes’ of those on the high end of the autism spectrum while getting advice from experts such as Dr. Temple Grandin, Dr. Tony Attwood, Jennifer McIlwee Myers, Billy Edwards and many more! Bottom line: This program will take these children, and their families, from merely coping with High-Functioning Autism to excelling.
Message from Dr. Temple Grandin
“I would strongly recommend the Coping to Excelling DVD not only for parents, especially those of a newly diagnosed child, but also for teachers and professionals!”
– Dr. Tony Attwood
“The brain of your child, who has been newly diagnosed with High-Functioning Autism or Aspergers, is different and functions in different ways than a typically developing child. This is not a choice the child is making; we see actual neurological differences when we query by both anatomy and function. So there is a great importance to getting therapy and getting treatments, well-defined efficacious treatments, and trying to improve the behaviors but understanding that they are coming from a place of being different neurologically.”
Continue ReadingTips for Drivers Diagnosed with Autism
Dr Louise O’Donnell offers Quick Tips for Drivers who are diagnosed with Autism when being pulled over by an officer of the law. In part 1 below, Dr. O’Donnell touches on the basics of composure such a the surge of panic/anxiety that might occur when first approached after a pull-over.
A Gift of Preparedness
As you are in the midst of family & social gatherings, we offer you our best on preparing for the potential nightmares of sensory overloads and societal expectations. The change in routine is the biggest difficulty during the holidays. Below are suggestions for you or for those you think might need the awareness most!
-The Staff at Aspergers101
