What parenting styles work for you? Are we emotionally stunting our own children? Greetings, my name is Raeme Bosquez-Greer. I am a Program Director with Southwind Fields and I am a mother of adopted children who have cognitive disabilities. The subject I will be discussing is from the perspective of a mother who has been there and done that, then did it again.
For many years I have spoken to parents from all walks of life that have an array of parenting styles. The dynamics of relationships in a household molds the emotional balance of your child.
Regarding a person with Autism, this statement is intensified because I believe these youths on the spectrum feel more and absorb more than any other human being. This is often shown when observing social skills with a group of strangers, grocery shopping, attempting to live with a roommate and so much more.
I will admit I am everything rolled into one in regard to being a Lawn Mower Mom, and A Helicopter Mom. I hover, and I over protect. As a professional and advocate I have seen too much to not be these types of mothers.
It is very difficult currently to not be overprotective and wanting to insulate our children in a safe bubble.
My experience is we are only hurting our kids emotionally and stunting their social development. What will happen in a crowd or with co-workers when they are accustomed to mom answering for them? Though your intentions for this might be to prevent your child from being teased or have their feelings hurt, it’s really not preparing them for their future. What will the child do in these situations when you can no longer be by their side? Are we going to have a lifetime advocate for our child? Rely on a family member?
What is a realistic life care plan where you need to stop being the emotional support?
I often watch my children from a distance to observe the gains they have made in their life despite their genetics, environmental factors and the mistakes I have made as a parent. In these moments I find myself at times being self-critical and get trapped in thoughts about how I could have been better: If I were to have listened and read more; I would have been so much more impacting if I gave my children wings to grow at a much younger age.
But critiquing your past and beating yourself up about possible mistakes can only go so far. We have to look to the future instead and create concrete goals in our own minds for how we interact with our children, even as they grow into adults.
Today I am pledging to keep my emotions in tact when one of my children go out in the community and my heart starts beating uncontrollable.
Today I am going to trust that my child will make healthy choices and regurgitate all the teachings of their instructors, church, and their professional support team.
With a wing and a prayer, I do believe with each other’s support we will all become stronger emotionally and be able to allow our child a life of peace and freedom.
Feel free to go online a read all about what we do to assist your adult children in the pathway to freedom and living the life they choose to be fulfilled.
by Raeme Bosquez-Greer
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